I am such a sucker.
I got a letter from Chase telling me they were going to start charging me $12 a month for the pleasure of continuing to use their entry-level checking account services.
Now, Chase has been my bank of choice since I moved to Brooklyn almost 12 years ago. In fact, opening my Chase account was my first act as an official Brooklynite, so it was kind of symbolic to me. I say was because there was a time when I had to break up with Chase and abandon my original account.
What happened was that a Direct Loan Debt Collection representative tricked me into giving her my account information. Okay, so I owe a LOT in student loans and, yes, there were many years when I avoided any and all contact with my debtors … mainly because I wasn’t paying them back and well, who wants the hassle of dealing with that kind of drama?
However, on this particular day, I was trying to fix it, which is why I was on the phone with this woman in the first place. So I am not sure why she felt like she had to be SUCH. A. BITCH.
That’s right, Miss Jenkins, Representative #JV249*. I’m talking to you. Bitch.
She implied that I was basically a thief and openly questioned my morals.
MJ: Don’t you want to be the kind of person who pays their bills back?
Me: Yes, Miss Jenkins that’s why I’m on the phone with you. It’s just that I can’t afford $600 a month.
MJ: Well, you’ve got a job don’t you? I mean, you went to college, right?
Bitch.
Miss Jenkins insisted that I pay $600 a month or nothing. There was no other option. Oh. Yeah. I also could choose to pay the bulk sum. But that was it. I tried offering different monthly amounts but she wouldn’t budge. So, when I finally decided to go with my own option — pay nothing until I could talk to another representative — I knew as soon as we got off the phone, she’d try to charge my account anyway.
Because I was talking to her on my cell, I was already walking toward Chase before Miss Jenkins and I ever got off the phone. My account was cleared out and closed before she could type in my routing number. Eat that, Miss Jenkins.
I spent my brief separation from Chase at Washington Mutual until it was eventually bought out and Chase and I were together again. Things have been just peachy until I got this letter. Apparently, Chase forgot me. They don’t remember that we’ve really been together since 1998, so they treat me like a scrubby WAMU nobody. So, unless I achieve a minimum balance of an amount way over my average balance or get direct deposit from one of my freelance clients, I’m going to have to pay $12 every month for a basic checking account. It’s ridiculous; I’ve never paid for a checking account in my life.
The thing is, much like my love/hate relationship with my iPhone and it’s crappy, crappy reception, although I could get better service elsewhere, Chase has some shiny, unessential gadgets that I’ve become pretty accustomed to. For one, the no-envelope, no-deposit slip necessary deposit. You put your card in the ATM, a slot opens, you shove your cash or checks in the hole and voilà! Deposit. No muss, no fuss.
But, although this is pretty awesome, $12 a month adds up and it’s not that awesome. I decided I could fill out a deposit slip at a bank that would let me have an account for free and started researching.
Well. Chase apparently saw that one coming because before I could switch my account to a new bank, I got another letter from them announcing a mobile iPhone app that lets you deposit check just by taking a picture of it. Imagine. Making a deposit from emailing picture … just one step closer to never having to leave my home again.
Needless to say, I am now paying for a checking account for the first time in my entire life.
*Not her real name or Representative Number. This happened WAY before I would have ever even thought to take notes on that stuff.
February 8th, 2011 at 7:08 pm
Just the kind of “big brother” is watching story I like to hear. Thankfully there is an app for that AND you could go to Verizon soon with a sexy iphone 4……..who knows what bank Verizon is in bed with
So glad you are blogging, so very glad