Let’s take a look at what I did today, shall we?
It’s 7:49 PM and I’ve just realized that I spent the last 9 or so hours on my couch. Literally. I mean, I went to pee or get something to drink every once in a while, and I got up to let the delivery guy in but, really the majority - I’m talking 90th percentile, here - of that time I was literally on the couch.
Still, I was able to enjoy quite a variety of activities, so I don’t feel like it was all wasted. Here, I’ll show you. I’ll even tell you in chronological order, so that you can appreciate the organic flow.
- Around 10:30AM, I sat down to drink my iced coffee and struggle with the NY Times crossword puzzle
- Then I pulled my laptop into the mix so I could cheat on the crossword clues
- From there I sank into an Internet hole that ended up with a visit to Seamless.com
- I ordered and ate the most disgusting, delicious food I could think of
These aren't actually mine.
Remember that health kick I went on? Yeah. Well.
Actually, I got half wings & half these things.
- Once the food arrived, I turned on the TV
- About three hours later, I turned it back off
- Around 3 or so I turned back to the laptop and went into another Internet hole
- Next thing I knew, it was 7:30
I’m now downstairs at another computer writing this blog. I’ve just finished my sushi and I’ve Googled to see how long leftovers can stay in the refrigerator. (Honestly, even one night worries me, but I ordered way more than I needed. Anyway.)
The highlights of the day were watching my two Oprah Master Class shows and reading Vinnie Guadagnino’s blog. Vinnie who? Vinnie from the Jersey Shore.That’s right, not only has Snookie written a New York Times Best Seller novel, the Peter Brady of the MVP trio has his own blog. IKR?!
This guy.
In his posts, Vinnie reflects on his religious views, racism and he even ventures into “into the cerebral territory where so many men have gone but failed,” and gives us his take on the “general argument of the double standard.”
A big part of why men are not condemned as much as females for being promiscuous is that a vagina is higher maintenance than a penis. Many comedians have spoken about how the female tunnel of love is known to be “pretty” and penises are not. In order for a woman to “get off” she needs all sorts of mechanisms, tongue rotations, speed and penetration levels, candle scents, etc…But for a man, a few simple strokes and he experiences 5 seconds of bliss. Men also have more testosterone in their system which increases the eagerness to fornicate while women are more able to practice self control. These points establish a general reason why women are expected to have sex less than men. - Vinnie Guadagnino
So, you can see how I got caught up.
Still, I was able to finish one blog post earlier and I’m wrapping up another one - this one right here - right now. In fact, this will be the first two-fer day in Southern Discomforts’ history! Guess the day wasn’t so unproductive after all.
August 14th, 2011 at 8:28 pm
I didn’t see bacon bits or chicken balls on top of those wings so they must have been the “healthy” ones!!!!! Congrats. and mmmmmmmmmmmm
August 14th, 2011 at 8:34 pm
I should mention that your couch DEMANDS seatings greater than 7 hours, so I would say “job well done’……..and “pass me the green blanket please!”