R.I.P. Holiday Season 2008
I fucking HATE the holiday season. I don’t ever think I realized what venom lay behind that statement –which I’ve repeated incessantly from November 1 through January 2 every year since 1999 — until finally making it through Holiday Season ‘08.
Was it just me? I know I have my own unique set of issues with this particular year, but even so. Holiday Season ‘08 has got to be one of the worst holiday seasons ever recorded. The stock market, the layoffs, the Madoff. Wars and terrorism and poverty and unemployment AND Christmas? It’s just too much.
Since mid-November I’ve basically isolated myself. I’ve avoided phone calls, I’ve only seen people when they have come to my house. I have over twenty voice mails that I have not been able to bring myself to listen to. The only things I’ve gone out for were working at the bar or groceries. I go through this when the depression acts up — I call it going into The Hole. Getting laid off in October started the journey to The Hole, but Holiday Season ‘08 was what threw me in. And how did New Year’s, the official wrap party of Holiday Season ‘08 go? I had a great night at the bar, worked until 5 AM, slept until 1 PM, and woke up to find out that the bar was closed. Indefinitely.
That’s right. I’ve now lost TWO jobs.
And today?
People, today I am feeling better.
The holidays are finally behind me, I have my own domain (I told you I’d do it!) and I have a list of things I want to do. Things that involve going outside and seeing people and doing stuff. Voluntarily. I’m so excited about it, I’ve been pacing. Because I haven’t felt like doing anything in months. Just doing things like getting food was overwhelming.
Then today I woke up and I felt great. I started writing things down that I want to get done. I finished my coffee and before I went to get dressed, I turned on NY1 - our local news channel - to check the weather. I tuned in just in time to hear a reporter say that it was so cold outside that it felt like her tears were freezing.
Looks like I won’t be checking, “Mail Christmas packages,” off the list until tomorrow.
January 14th, 2009 at 8:43 pm
you have permission to delete any voice/email messages previously sent by me…or at least you don’t have to reply, i can actually remember screaming “i FUCKING HATE CHRISTMAS” at the top of my lungs about 14 years ago (in my parents home as the ten thousandth caroler/elf/olde time santa was put in place)….and although i have learned to enjoy the holidays more, i still think they are too pumped up, i have the added bonus of having my birthday wrapped up in there too!
January 14th, 2009 at 11:54 pm
Wahoo!