Screw you, Spring.
So. Turns out, spring is not my favorite season. I think I love spring; in the dead of winter I dream of spring and look forward to what I believe is the perfect weather season. Then spring arrives. And I remember.
Currently Itching:
- Both of my eyes
- Back of my throat
- Ears
- Neck
- Scalp behind my ears
- My whole back
I fucking hate spring. I really do. It’s just that during other seasons, I forget how bad spring is. Do you know that I almost blinded myself with Bi-Facil this morning? True. My intention was solely to remove the smudges of mascara from under my eyes, but rubbing them with the cotton pad felt so good that I ended up squishing about an ounce of eye makeup remover directly into my socket and had to flush it out with water. As I was drying my face, I caught myself trying to dig my eyeballs out with the towel. What the fuck? That’s when it hit.
Spring. Miserable, hateful, tortuous spring. I have sneezed no less than 23 times this morning and my right eye itches so bad that I’m about to use a fork to scratch it. I’ve always had allergies and spring has always been awful for me, but each year once the pollen has finally washed away and I put my Claritin binge to rest for another nine months, I forget and I fall back in love with this hideous season.
It’s a beautiful day today and I want to get outside and do things: take Chulo on a long walk, get some errands taken care of, enjoy the sunshine … but I can’t. For me, there is no enjoying anything during spring. Despite my daily intake of Allegra and Advair and the addition of Clairitin (against doctor’s orders, mind you), I am doomed to a three-month period of sneezing and coughing and scratching until I finally get to relax in the sweltering, sweaty heat of summer. (Which I also hate with a venomous passion.)
The sad truth is, I only enjoy this planet’s weather for about three days in the very early spring before the pollen starts to sprout, then for a precious few weeks of fall when the pine trees have finally given up their mating rituals for their winter hibernation. Sadly this year, we’ve had the crappiest start to spring ever and those precious few days of happiness have been replaced by torrential downpours and 40 degree weather.
What’s even better is that I head to Georgia next week where I will get to endure a 7-day summer preview of 80 degree humidity.
Hoo-ray.
April 15th, 2011 at 10:24 am
I see you are a hold the phone in two hands picture takerer. I’m more of a one handed taker with the other in a pocket or hanging awkardly at my side.
April 15th, 2011 at 10:29 am
I need the stability. Plus, I’m always worried about dropping the phone … again.
April 15th, 2011 at 10:44 am
Kauai doesn’t have spring.
Just saying.
April 15th, 2011 at 10:45 am
But they do have frogs.
April 15th, 2011 at 9:43 pm
grin. you’re funny.
April 17th, 2011 at 8:17 pm
thanks honey.
April 21st, 2011 at 3:50 pm
hi. I like your writing. you should write a book. thanks. sp
April 22nd, 2011 at 8:06 am
sp: i like your comment. i’m totally working on a book. you’re welcome.
if you happen to know steven barclay, tell him to holla at me.
May 23rd, 2011 at 12:56 pm
Two words for you:
Hook. Worms.
May 23rd, 2011 at 1:00 pm
lanie j: you KNOW i would be all over some hookworms if i could get some in this country. maybe i should start saving poo in the back yard and see if i can grow my own.