So tired.
If I don’t get some sleep soon, I may have to kill Chulo. And Erica. And the makers of Ambien.
For the last several days, despite my efforts to keep this damn dog awake until the sun goes down, he has become nocturnal and as soon as we decide to go to bed, he begins his new ritual of pacing and crying and tap-tap-tapping his goddamn feet around the bed ALL NIGHT LONG. Well, it’s not new. He’s been a whiner and a pacer since we got him. At our old place, our nights used to consist of having to get out of bed and actually pick the bed frame up to release him from underneath where, thanks to our un-level floors and our handmade bed, he would find an entrance but then get trapped, usually around 3 AM. So, at least that’s over.
This is "the duck" that Chulo carries while he paces.
Still. Tap, tap, tapity-goddamn-tap, all night. I hate him.
This usually is over around 6, which means I get to finally go to sleep around the same time the birds start singing each day. Then, Erica’s alarm starts around 7.
I say starts because Erica, who has usually slept through the majority of Chulo’s performance, “needs” her snooze button time. Over an hour’s worth of snooze button time, mind you. So every 8 minutes, from 7 AM until about 8:30, her phone goes off with this ridiculous “plink, plink, plink. plink, plink, pl-plink-plink-plink,” over and over and over. The best part is, she never actually hears the phone but, instead, semi-wakes up to me shoving her and saying, “PHONE!” in the angriest hushed voice I can muster, as to not wake the dog and start his shit all over again. Then, she rolls over to fumble with the phone (that is still plink, plink, plinkity-goddamn-plinking) until she figures out how to turn it off, because for some reason, she can’t ever remember how she did it 8, 16, 24, 32 … minutes prior.
As for the makers of Ambien … what the hell, makers of Ambien? Can you really build up a tolerance to this stuff? I very rarely take Ambien unless I have a pretty good run of nights without sleep, and usually if I take half a pill, that’s enough to knock me out and get me through at least the majority of Chulo’s midnight-6AM show. Well, during this latest run of sleepless nights, 1/2 a pill stopped working. So, then one night I took a whole pill, and that didn’t work. The next night, I drank a half a bottle of wine and then took a half a pill and still, nothing. I mean, I don’t wanna Heath Ledger myself or anything, but I’m desperate.
And, I swear to Smoking Baby, if it doesn’t stop soon, I’m moving to a hotel.
