This is how it starts.
Writing a book is a lot of work.
For example: I just spent three minutes trying to figure out which pen I was supposed to use.
[Looking at the two pens I'd pulled out of my bag] I like pink but it might draw too much attention cause I know that the lady eating yogurt next to me is just DYING to see what I’m writing. But blue is such a crappy color. What is it about blue ink? It seems non-committal for some reason. What does that even mean? But the pen’s in my hand … maybe it’s a sign?
Then, way down deep in my Superhero Supply bag I see the glint of a silver pen clip attached to a totally different pen. A SURE sign. I dropped the first two pens and grabbed for the one at the bottom of my tote and finally started writing my first sentence: Writing a book is a lot of work.
Total time spent? Seventeen minutes.
I have a book inside of me. In my head I know the stories I want to tell, the issues I want to analyze, the work I need to do. But when I think about writing it, I feel so overwhelmed. WRITING A BOOK. Such a daunting task. And it’s not just the writing. It’s the planning and the research. The scariness of reliving my story and revisiting my old injuries. And of course, the ever-present fear of, “What will they think?” raining on every aspect of the book writing parade. But I’m writing it. I’ve been writing it for over twenty years.
She lit a burner on the stove and offered me a pipe
“I thought you’d never say hello” she said
“You look like the silent type”
Then she opened up a book of poems
And handed it to me
Written by an Italian poet
From the thirteenth century
And every one of them words rang true
And glowed like burning coal
Pouring off of every page
Like it was written in my soul from me to you
Tangled up in blue
I learned on Rock Band that in concerts Bob Dylan used to introduce Tangled Up in Blue with, “This song took me ten years to live and two years to write.” 12 years for less than 600 words.
Maybe I’m right on schedule.
January 3rd, 2010 at 1:18 pm
….’they’ will probably think “WHEN is her next book coming out!!!!??????”
January 4th, 2010 at 11:46 am
i love you f’leigh.
you are awesome!
January 12th, 2010 at 4:19 pm
A book? Well, hell. Good luck!
January 24th, 2011 at 1:06 pm
If you were that guy on the train with psoriasis then you have the qualification to write about this and that. I’m 24 and i’ve had psoriasis since i was 19. Not just facial but fingernail. The only day of the year someone can look at my hands without thinking ‘wtf is wrong with your nails get away from me’ is halloween. So yea, go ahead and write a book about the struggles of a small town girl in a big big town. It’s not origonal, you’ve never really suffered… you are lucky that you have no defects so stop trying to be special and intellectual. I tell you right, real people suffering are silent. Real pain doesn’t have a blog.
January 24th, 2011 at 3:26 pm
Dan, you misunderstood the point of the post.
I have no issue, per se, with psoriasis or those who have it. In addition, I’d like to say that I am sorry you have it and I’m sure it sucks super huge big time. (Have you tried altering your diet? A lot of nutritionists say that avoiding gluten & sugar can help tremendously.)
I would also like to say that I am sure that not everyone who looks at you and sees your hands, regardless of the time of year, thinks, “WTF is wrong with your nails?” and wants you to get away from them. I’m sure plenty of people know what psoriasis is, can identify it on sight and experience no real reaction to your condition whatsoever.
That is, unless you are in the habit of sitting leg to leg with strangers on public transportation (or in any place, really) while actively picking your scabs and thoughtlessly dropping your skin chunks on their laps.
Thanks for reading!
Susan